my wife is texting her ex boyfriend

I was thinking of having a no-distraction conversation (kids in bed, no tv/phones) and asking her how she truthfully sees our relationship and if there is anything she wants to talk about because I can see a tangible difference in our relationship and her specifically. I Never Really Loved You. 20. When should you talk to your crush or girlfriend? When she is seeing someone else, contact her through text message. Its still important to be aware of his intentions. Shes risking torching your whole marriage in order to just test how much you love or how upset you get about her fantasizing about another guy. Another one of the reasons your wife talks about her boyfriend could be that shes urging you to treat her better. Receiving a text or DM from an ex can trigger some strong feelings. To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. This 27-year-old girl began dating her 35-year-old ex-boyfriend a year ago. Regardless of your decision to stay in your relationship or to go, we are here to support you on your path to recovery. Even if youve done something wrong, you deserve better than to have your wife throw the memory of an ex in your face out of impulsive anger. WebThe answer to Why does my ex keep texting me even though they broke up with me is usually simply that theyre having an inner struggle where they have feelings for you, but they feel like they need to keep their distance because a relationship wouldnt work. Just the occasional message here and there but the thing is when I found out she was doing this before she said she would stop and cut off contact with him. Instead, take a step back and analyze the situation. The Tone Of Their Texts Change. With good cause. Wife finally admits sending photos What kind of response are you hoping to receive? READ THIS. Its just that shes overwhelmed with a feeling of regret about your marriage. What she is doing is disrespectful to you, your husband, the kids, and your marriage. my ex boyfriend Ultimately, a cyber affair could cause a breakup or divorce. While it's OK to have nice memories from previous relationships, you should be wary if your spouse gets sad everytime they talk about their ex. I feel like I cant trust her, I deploy soon, and I'm just going to be paranoid the entire time I'm gone. If your wife and her ex work or go to school together, she may also have to remain in contact with him to fulfill her professional or educational obligations. She has been dealing with some anxiety issues and has been seeing a psychiatrist once a week. Now its time to talk with your significant other about it and hope they come clean. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track. Something in her own life or your relationship has upset her and shes looking to lash out. This is one of 20 reasons why is your ex texting you when she broke up with you. Ex Boyfriend The nitty gritty of daily life often replaces the initial stars you both had in your eyes, and now your wife is worried she made a mistake in joining her life with hers. Any text past 10 p.m. is likely a sign that theyre just looking to hook up or sending a tipsy text neither of which is good for closure. "Expectations lead to letdowns and disappointments. As Culture Club sang in their 1982 hit song Do You Really Want To Hurt Me?. She's neglecting you. As Ive discussed, its either her wanting out, her playing games or her genuinely preferring another guy than you. Two wholes equal the best couple.". Now, back when she met her ex, About These 9 Things If youre using an ex as a backup, contact with the ex is likely to undermine your current relationship. Sometimes its less about her wanting to piss you off as it is about her already being very ticked off. Texting while dating someone else's girlfriend or boyfriend can be tricky. Your Ex Tells You To Never Talk To Them Again. 3. Text Your Ex Back If you just want to check-in and see how they're doing, with no ulterior motive, that's totally cool! Kiran Athar All rights reserved. It gives them the opportunity to send messages without violating any privacy laws or creating any kind of paper trail. So, I in this thread in this sub-forum in the entire site. "Each partner feels failed by the other in one way or another. Texting can include communicating feelings of love or lust and describe sex and sexual desires. She goes to her ex's page almost everyday (they aren't even friends on FB) that was unsettling. However, if you try to talk about their past or desire to see them and your partner becomes enraged, this might be a red sign. text I grew suspicious checked her FB and Instagram which I shouldn't have, but mentally I just knew something was wrong. In todays day and age, a large part of our conversations happen through texting! In many cases, one of the reasons your wife talks about her boyfriend is that shes feeling like the spark is gone. As Andrew explains: In most cases, if your partner is texting someone else, it is a cry for help. This shows her that you're still interested in her even though she has another guy in her life. For many couples, money can be a major source of problems. "Most relationships end in hurt, anger, and disappointment," Dr. Fran Walfish, a Beverly Hills family and relationship psychotherapist and author of The Self-Aware Parent, tells Elite Daily. 88 years of expert advice and inspiration, for every couple. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. Why Is My Ex Texting Me? Here's What It Means & What To Do At this point you may quickly start feeling lost and confused. Scan this QR code to download the app now. Dr. Fran Walfish is a Beverly Hills-based family and relationship psychotherapist, author, and TV personality. Healthline She is 30 and I am 34. Ive done it myself in the past and had some very insightful readings. Do talk to her about the situation. You cant read your wifes mind or know with 100% certainty why shes saying what shes saying. The truth is that high expectations and idealism can cripple a relationship just as much as fear and doubt. She has no respect for anyone besides herself; make your decisions accordingly. I would flat out ask her tonight him or me. ", After asking your wife about her behavior, give her the time and opportunity to give you an answer without interruption. All rights reserved. wife texting ex-boyfriend from US constitute cruelty Is it a cause for concern if my wife texts an ex-boyfriend? feel less physically or emotionally attracted to your partner. A good indicator that you're romantically motivated is if you get angry or anxious when they don't respond or take a long time to finally reply, Burns says. If she continues to do this without your knowledge, it may be time to have a conversation with her. Either that, or shes already talking to him and wants to appease her own conscience. It sounds like she is gearing up for an affair and to possibly leave you for him. Texting an Ex My Ex Texting She also might miss her ex. If Your Boyfriend Still Talks To His Ex, Here's What To Do - Elite We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. He agreed. Is it mutually beneficial for you two to speak right now. That being said, if you and your ex are on good terms and are open to hooking up, go for it. Come join the discussion about love, romance, health, behavior, conflict resolution, care, and more! You are the woman in his world, and she is his past, and she needs to remain as part of his past. We have been married for 15 years. Jul 6, 2012 Hello, So my wife and I have been married for a year and a half now and we have 1 daughter together. You can set the tone for your talk by asking your wife, "Is this a good time to talk?" "Many people can't stop thinking about their ex obsessively to ease a feeling of loneliness. If you have no idea, then its probably a sign that communication isnt happening a lot in your marriage right now and you should check in. Oster is the co-owner of a professional photography business and advises the owner on hardware and software acquisitions for the company. Accuse her of cheating or wanting her ex boyfriend back. Cuzaint but one Mitchell for which that question applies. She will not get a dime out of you if you leave now. If shes been talking a lot about her ex boyfriend then pay attention to details. WebWife will not stop talking to Ex My wife frequently talks to her ex boyfriend despite my objections. Well fast forward to now and she started texting him again. She wants out of the relationship and shes not making it easy, either. This is a form of game playing which I mentioned in point one, but its more specific. According to the psychotherapist, there's only one way to truly let go of our ex: dating. So, I dont think we should keep talking. WebAnswer (1 of 3): This is not a long time friend. Squash it with authority and hold her accountable for what she has done. Just tell her you wanted to say thanks and bye. ", Karmin suggests minimizing the judgmental or confrontational nature of this type of conversation by journaling your thoughts beforehand. I do not think hes over you. She always tries to justify it with various excuses. Ex She responded with "No not that I can remember".. We explain the psychology behind the decision. Your wife does want to hurt you and make you cry. Yes, she may have loved him and enjoyed being with him, but he is her ex and you are her new boyfriend. Your marriage is in trouble. You would love to read this too Ways to Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back. Manage Settings And if shes talking to her ex behind your back then theres a pretty high chance youre her fallback guy. I am pretty hurt and I don't know what to do. "Everyone holds on for a different length of time. She wants to specifically see if she can make you get jealous and chase her. However, texting is a great way to keep communication open between you two. We were very comfortable with each other. Even if shes doing it in a nice way, it will tend to create some pressure and awkward expectations. 5. I know its just talking and innocent friendship, my problem Is the disregard for my feelings. Danny's expertise has been featured in the media, including CNN, Cosmo, The Huffington Post and more. If you think you've moved on and it's safe to text your ex, but you're not entirely sure, Burns offers a hack. While your wife texting her ex-boyfriend may be innocent in nature, it could also be a cause for concern. Someone close to your ex dies. OK, I see you finally let your hair grow out. my wife JavaScript is disabled. We are interdependent beings who need each other. 21. That being said, if you and your ex are on good terms and are open to hooking up, go for it. Ex-Girlfriend Stalking New Girlfriend One Name In Particular Keeps Popping Up. And the wife has asked they have no contact? We use cookies on our site to remember your preferences, monitor site traffic and offer personalised ads. If your wife is bringing up her ex-boyfriend in order to play with your emotions and test how youll respond, you have a solid reason to feel angry. You made a commitment to your husband to be faithful for the rest of your lives. Head her off and beat her to the punch. Text Conclusion. It's no surprise, then, that the urge to text your ex can be almost unbearable. Some Background. When you learn your ex has a new relationship, the ending and death of the fantasy must be faced, and the true mourning process begins," she says. We're both in the Military and I went away from home for 2 weeks for work during this time she was acting odd not wanting to talk on the phone or text to often, but said everything was fine. On the other hand, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation. The concern is that you are now married while communicating with your ex-boyfriend. Reddit, Inc. 2023. The playful, flirting tone may become short and direct. The Steps to Save My Marriage After My Anthony Oster is a licensed professional counselor who earned his Master of Science in counseling psychology at the University of Southern Mississippi. /r/Relationships is a community built around helping people and the goal of providing a platform for interpersonal relationship advice between redditors. It started while we were dating or perhaps it never ended he was who she dated up to a month or more, as I understood, before we began dating. If it's been months and you're wondering what it means if youre still texting your ex, worry not. Recently I happened to see some messages and upon digging deeper (in her absence) I found that these messages are being exchanged between my wife and her ex boyfriend. To make the decision-making process easier, we tapped Fran Walfish, PsyD., for some expert advice. Should I Be Concerned If My Wife Is Texting an Ex Cookies collect information about your preferences and your devices and are used to make the site work as you expect it to, to understand how you interact with the site, and to show advertisements that are targeted to your interests. Text My Ex My wife Furthermore, if her new partner discovers she is messaging you, he is likely to become jealous, resulting in a quarrel. Web5. August 20, 2023, 7:00 am, by Ex My Consider if she starts offering you sex more often but doesnt seem to be engaging with you. Do nothing and hope nothing happens? Sometimes your wife talks about her ex because she wants the green light to talk to her ex. You can read all the text messages of your boyfriend without touching his phone anytime. @media(min-width:0px){#div-gpt-ad-couplespop_com-medrectangle-3-0-asloaded{max-width:300px!important;max-height:250px!important;}}if(typeof ez_ad_units != 'undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'couplespop_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_1',120,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-couplespop_com-medrectangle-3-0'); If you ask her directly why she is texting her ex-boyfriend, she will most likely say that it is because they still care about each other and want to keep their relationship fresh in his mind. Scan this QR code to download the app now. Do you have to have a talk with your boyfriend? While you can discuss your concerns with her, ultimately you cannot make her change her behavior. Last Updated August 20, 2023, 6:48 pm, by The same idea can of course be applied to your conversations with your ex, and when youre hoping to get back together its crucial that you know the dos and donts of texting an ex boyfriend! WebMaybe you made him feel a certain way, that he's never had with his wife, and he can't let it go. I've been mentally driving myself crazy last couple weeks. Next up, is how serious this ex-boyfriend was. What Your Ex Boyfriend Theres really no reason to send your ex a good morning or good night text. I know my ex told me he couldn't talk to anyone like he talked to me. Go with your gut about how your marriage is doing right now. 2) She is all of a sudden draped around your neck and trying to make out (when its not in her character) * But, again, this is a touch one to gauge because if she seems uncomfortable, she could just have anxiety with any ex. Was he a fling or a near husband? Boyfriend Still Talks To His Ex How will a response other than the desired one make you feel? Be clear about what you want when you contact them. To maintain peace: If you are the insecure or possessive kinds, there are high chances that your partner deletes their messages and chat history. What your doing is just selfish. We seek posts from users who have specific and personal relationship quandaries that other redditors can help them try to solve. Dont exaggerate on the bright side, but also dont be too gloomy. She would rather text her old boyfriend than alleviate your understandable and reasonable jealousy. The question is how to know the difference between neediness and/or the impulse to return to a negative relationship and the hope for an improved relationship with your ex. The very day we returned from our honeymoon my husband's ex sent him a text, and he replied. They were together for 5+ years. We have had many blow up fights in which Ive told her Im not ok with it and that she is hurting me by doing it. If your boyfriend is talking to his ex, this can be normal. She is not respecting your concerns because she is getting something out of it. This ex is someone who was once dear to her, and shes bringing him up as a character foil. When I say admitted, I called her bluff for the second time and she finally admitted what I thought had happened. While your wife's messaging her ex-boyfriend may be harmless, it may also be reason for alarm. Wife lies about text messaging ex-boyfriend Shes bringing up her ex because she wants to get your goat. You need to man up and tell her you will not tolerate this behaviour and back it up. By clicking 'Accept and continue' you consent to our use of cookies in accordance with your preferences which can be reviewed / updated at any time via our Privacy Policy. First I asked her to be completely honest with me. If your partner seems to be constantly mentioning their ex, it is likely that they are still on their mind. "Anyone can change for a moment, but being flexible and sustaining real change is the key we're looking for in a life partner.". Hes nostalgic about the past. My Ex I found out that my wife has been texting her ex boyfriend from about 13 years ago. Another one of the top reasons your wife talks about her boyfriend is that she wants to cheat on you. Avoid snooping or destroying any trust that the two of you may have. We never talked about our former relationships before getting married. My wife of over a year and a half continues to lie about her communication with an ex-boyfriend. When this happens, it can be difficult to stay in the relationship. While the presence of an affair, intimate or emotional alike, does not necessarily spell the end of your marriage, both you and your wife must be on board to make the positive changes needed to work on your relationship.