I know youre probably afraid to leave your partner alone or encourage communication between them and their ex. My girlfriend talks to her ex everyday - Need serious help Romantic relationships can often have a hold over people, for both negative and positive reasons. Try to get a sense of the context and whether there is a good reason for your partner and their ex-lover to be in contact, said Feuerman. She said she would stop snapchatting him if that was what I wanted but was very defensive when I brought it up. Instead, to the best of your ability, operate under the assumption that no matter how ugly the end of that relationship got, the likelihood, especially when kids are involved, that their ex intended to cause that kind of pain is very low. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. My best friend insists that she is not mature or committed enough for me, and as much as I see a future with her I don't know how much I can continue to justify. CANADA. She knows this and continues to do so, and even gets mad at me whenever I bring it up. We are in a great place in our relationship. SugarDaddie.com: Get 15% off your paid membership when you upgrade within 24 hours of free signup! What does it mean when your girlfriend keeps talking about her ex? I explained to her that I was very uncomfortable with this, given my personal experience, and that it is crossing a line. We ended up agreeing to be exclusive and she asked me to be official shortly thereafter and it seemed to me that she was in a better place and that the relationship was good for both of us. He has been writing and publishing for over 12 years and his passion now is to help guys become better men and get what they want in life. Do Exes With A Secure Attachment Reach Out And Come Back? I know the easy thing to do would be to just drop her and move on but Im really not the type to do that so easy. 25 People On Whether It's Ever OK To Talk About Exes With Your New However, the best way to deal with this issue is to be open and honest, start a conversation about how often she speaks of her ex to understand her side of the story and why she does it. Here are some signs that you should look out for, according to experts. She keeps in touch with her exs friends and family this can be a way of having some sort of access to the exs life, keeping track at a distance, and constantly dabbling on the idea of rekindling the romance that was once there. I have always believed that if you are with someone else, contact with an ex who was abusive and continues to attempt to manipulate feelings cannot be kept as a friend because it and in my experience has made me question myself constantly and feel as if how bad must I be if they can still contact and support a past abuser? This can depend on how intense the relationship was, how much time was invested into each other and how heartbroken you are once the relationship came to an end, but it is never okay for either partner to constantly talk about their ex, this is a huge indicator the ex continues to live in the back of the mind. What to Do If You Catch Your Partner Secretly Messaging Their Ex - Newsweek Help! He overcame a devastating leg injury sustained in his final game at Notre Dame . I just think it's private and doesn't add anything except an opportunity to feel jealous or inadequate. Nah, it's okay and normal to stay friends with exes. She claims she is just uniquely friendly and is one of a small group of people who can actually be friends with her ex. And you are right to be worried that he may be trying to break up your relationship. You can't make her stop doing what she wants to do. Archived post. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. Below, relationship experts outline what you should do when you catch your partner secretly messaging their ex. We constantly argue about her calling him for advice every time we have a fight. I also know she has had many more past partners than I, so she has a larger breadth of experience to draw a frame of reference from. I trust her but I dont trust him. As easy as it might be to feel angry at the ex on behalf of your partner, giving in to those feelings doesnt actually end up helping anyone. Reflecting on mistakes we made before we knew better. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. What's Really Going on When People Stay in Touch With Exes By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. Many "never-marrieds" have . Cookie Notice Cookie Notice After all, they were a major part of your life, so it's understandable to still want to talk. The only issue with this was that she had continued to speak to a couple of her ex's whilst I was completely unaware, this very much annoyed me when it slipped out in conversation that she had been in contact. What Are the Red Flags in a Relationship You Should Never Ignore? - SELF My Girlfriend Keeps Blaming Me For Everything: My Fault? Here are the horrible signs your girlfriend still has feelings for her ex; 1. Should I move on? Wait a moment and try again. Forecasters have already warned that there could be potential flash floods around Lake Mead due to the storm. Whatever youre comfortable with, Ill honor. I did ask a female friend her thoughts on this, and she said that she doesn't mention her exes either, and that my annoyance was well founded. In this delicate situation, in which you are the person your partner left the relationship for, its important to make room for their ex to be angry at you, to feel spiteful of you, to even (if they cant control themselves) badmouth you to the kids. As difficult as it may be, any way that you can allow yourself to encourage positive communication between your partner and their ex brings peace to your new home and creates a system that has significantly less hostility than would otherwise be the case. If Your Partner's Ex Ever Does These 8 Things, They Want - Bustle Over-talking at social gatherings is often due to situational influences, not inherent traits. Talking about an ex is often a red flag but there are a huge number of reasons why someone could be doing this. I once dated someone who fondly spoke of her ex boyfriends and often compared me to them. I understand her past is in the past and does not matter but I felt it was relevant given the way she more or less led me on at the beginning of the relationship, not intentionally. Based on the information you receive, ask yourself whether you need to re-evaluate this relationship. If your girlfriend has talked to you about her ex, the first thing you have to figure out is how her previous relationship ended. When Should You Let Go Of A Fearful Avoidant Ex? My [33m] girl [33f] and I have been together for about 4 months. Required fields are marked *. I know he wants her back and is trying to convince her to break up with me. All rights reserved. Ask yourself whether you have both declared that you're in an exclusive relationship. For another couple of months before we were officially dating though, we hung out regularly, slept together, and met each other's friends, essentially dating without the label. This will not be repeated. However, if our girlfriend is still talking to her ex-boyfriend that is most likely going to brew up some trouble. I don't know if that's either paranoia or something to consider. A controlling partner may not always be easy to spot. My girlfriend talks about her ex a lot. What does that mean? Women find guys' impulsive, jealous, controlling, and demanding behavior extremely appalling. Lewandowski said the answer is likely "somewhere in between. Can a fearful avoidant ex change? Any tips? She Kept Stalking His Ex Through Social Media. If he starts to talk about her, you can change the subject or walk away. She does not want to admit that he still has feelings for her. My girlfriend [21F] still talks to her ex boyfriend and it - Reddit She explains she was just slower to be ready to date, which I understand. This happened more than one time, although that was the most recent, and there is another guy that she had 'hid the truth' about. AFP via Getty Images. or anything to help me out here? There may be "quite innocent" reasons. It is normal to have feelings for ex after a breakup due to the intimate moments, experiences and memories shared. Again, in this situation, try to be as flexible and empathetic as you can towards your partner's ex and any kids, even when . Help! GF Still Talks To Her Ex! : r/relationships - Reddit From her perpective, she 'does not cut people out of her life.' I am a very open minded person and so I can see things from her perspective easily, and thus it is difficult for me to separate my own jealousy from her lack of respect towards to relationships and established/implied barriers. tell her she can be friends with him, just not so friendly. How do you tell if shes not over her ex? It's a mysterious package, delivered by subtle sensory clues. A couple having a heated conversation on the couch. Archived post. We are in a great place in our relationship. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. If she did it, that's a good sign. As hard as it is to remember this, trust that for them to have reached the point at which they broke up, contributing to more positive communication will not increase the likelihood of romance again they have a history before you came along, before you were supervising anything or had any control of any aspect, and that history led to a breakup. He might be secretly trying to create unnecessary tension between . If your ex is texts you and sometimes even says things like, "I miss you," or "I've been thinking about you. So, when you see your girlfriend's ex keeps calling and texting her, it mostly means he is still interested in her, he wants her back or he is seeking revenge. Even when they are long gone, they can still create a problem in your current life. They was only together a year but it was a well formed sexual relationship they met each others parents had family days out etc etc. In casual conversation she often seems to make reference to one of her exes.. There is no need to hang on to the past and doing so by talking to an ex or continuously bringing an ex up will only lead to hurting your new partner. Deal with the past with a counsellor, a . However, during the conversation about the ex, I learned that she had withheld the fact that a few weeks after meeting me she had gone over to his house and they had made out but she swears they have not had sex since the breakup. Research on longevity shows, among other factors, the importance of optimism and having a life purpose. This ex has caused a few issues in the past such as trying to manipulate her emotionally . "Ask for honesty and create a safe space for dialogue.". Why My Girlfriend Keeps Talking About Her Ex: Explained. Scan this QR code to download the app now. It is probably worth mentioning she is a year younger and so has another year of school. Smith, 28, was a starter with the Giants last season after having been a second-round pick of the Cowboys in 2017. I'm head over heels for her, and she has reciprocated similar feelings. I was happy with this and had no issues at all because I feel because my ex had been abusive (like my girlfriends ex was) that it wouldn't be an issue for me to completely cut her out from my life. My Girlfriend still talks to her ex daily So I (22M) have been with my girlfriend (21F) for two months now. As the relationship has progressed though, it has gotten a lot better. 6. But overall, it isnt great when your girlfriend keeps talking about her ex. Whether the breakup was as horrific as catching their ex in bed with someone else or as small as getting sick of how often their partner lost their keys, try to keep your own personal feelings from spilling over. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. If your girlfriend is obsessing over her ex, you should consider a few things. I know I'm far from the first guy who's had this problem but it's keeping me up at night. I inquired what that was about and she explained that they still kept in touch, snapchatting everyday. You just met The One or maybe a shady character. Him trying to win her back may be giving her some kind of satisfaction. This is coming from a guy who NEVER mentions any ex, ever, if I'm not prodded to. I dont want to be the rebound. Why Is My Girlfriend's Ex Texting and Calling Her Everyday? Hey guys, new account for this; but my girlfriend still talks to her ex boyfriend all the time and it absolutely kills me when she does. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. But . But why do some girls always want to talk/mention exes? Why My Girlfriend Keeps Talking About Her Ex: Explained A mutually supportive community where deeply emotional things you can't tell people you know can be told. What to Do When a Girl Talks About Her Past Relationships She still texts you and sometimes admits that she misses you. My Girlfriend Is Texting Her Ex-boyfriend - Magnet of Success Answer (1 of 46): Well, there could be many reasons. "In fact, by trying to not think about something, we often end up thinking about it more. Again, in this situation, try to be as flexible and empathetic as you can towards your partners ex and any kids, even when they seem monstrous to you. 7 Potential Dangers of Talking to Your Ex While in a Relationship Archived post. Is it normal for my gf (f19) to talk to her ex (m20) all day everyday She writes off your feelings because they don't matter to her. But I also feel like I swallowed a pail of nails because I have a giant problem. She explained that her break up was hard on her and so she made some poor decisions in the time following: seeking attention from shitty guys, drinking too much, hurting her friendships. 11 Social Media Habits That Could Mean Your Partner's Cheating - Bustle If the kids are old enough, when you have the opportunity, you might say, I totally understand why you dont like me, why youre unhappy with me. M.D. Your ex is seen as a possible "backup" if the current relationship fails. What do you think about this situation? In fact I would feel so wrong and disrespectful if I was talking to my ex every day. Posted July 31, 2017 About a month after meeting I asked to be exclusive because to me it seemed like it had gotten to that point. Psychology Today 2023 Sussex Publishers, LLC. Here are five possible explanations for why people choose to maintain connections with their former significant others: 1. I haven't confronted her about this yet but I would like to talk to her about it because I do trust her and love her really much but sometimes get this gross feeling that It might be more.